college makes you smaht (via meaghano) →
The NYT seems to be running quite a few of these “Is it worth it?” types of stories about higher ed. lately and it has been good to see. I am ultimately ambivalent about it— all of these choices of mine are in the past and who am I to be ungrateful for the opportunity to even make those…
Daniel: I wish there was a "fag" button as well as a "flag" button so I could click that in this case.
Jenn: I know you mean that to be offensive, but it'd really just be descriptive.
Jenn: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Jenn: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!
Gina: You know you're going straight to hell right?
Jenn: Good thing I'm a Buddhist.
but he was perfectly nice
David: He's just so... pathetic.
Jenn: Like a puppy dog.
David: The kind you want to euthanize for its own good.
Jenn: Ugh, and he kissed like a donkey with an extra chromosome.
David: Whatever the species, he should just be put out of his misery.
Gheeeeyyyyy. Tell them you committed suicide and you’ll see them later.– Daniel V.
in which I abuse parentheses (again)
I don’t sleep often or much so I’ve got a lot of time for the hamster wheels in my head to spin round and round the same topics. Those poor, bored rodents. Ever have one of those moments where you realize, “Damn, I totally knew that was going to happen.” Then you wonder why you continued doing what you were doing when you were well aware of what the consequences of your...
Jenn: Feel it in your little black heart, don't you?
Daniel: I'll have you know I have a heart of gold. Cold and shiny.
Jenn: How very Jewish of you.
Daniel: They call me Kikey McDegowop for a reason.
Jenn: I think it's too soon for bedroom names, Daniel.
Daniel: So calling you my ambigious Vietnamese war win is out? Sigh. Maybe I could go with "border patrol baby."
Jenn: Only If you'll be my psoriasis sweetie.
poverty and tuna
Jenn: We don't have a can opener.
David: We have a butter knife and sheer force of will, THAT'S ALL WE NEED.
Jenn: Fine, but we're at least toasting the hot dog buns.
Let’s go not have feelings somewhere.
multitasking in the digital age
David: And you know she....
David: Hold on, she's IMing me.
Jenn: You're supposed to be keeping me in the loop, retard. Isn't that why we're doing this?
David: JENN, I am in the middle of some very savvy flirting right now.
Jenn: ...I hate our generation so much.
Rome wasn't built in a day
Ramzi: Do better.
Jenn: But I'm already going all out! How am I supposed to do better than my best?
Ramzi: Michael Phelps didn't accept his best!
Tarek: HITLER DIDN'T STOP AT ONE JEW!
I wish you were less awesome so I wouldn’t stand for the abuse.
It's cat hour
meaghano: irc: nostrich: i think cats are super smart, but socially retarded nostrich: like nerds Wanted to let you guys know that everyone at the major magazine I just presented Tumblr to got a nice LOL out of this post.
Can’t trust him, he’s careless. He only cares about revenge.– …but doesn’t that mean he’s not careless?
lumberjack: I just hate how she's walks. No, I hate how she liiiiives, like she's god's gift to man.
guy in panda suit: Those DD's are a gift to someone... and I'm pretty sure it's me.
We’re waiting for Jenny, Trisha, and some guy named Blaze.– Justin
If our hypothesis is corect...
Jenn: this is probably one of the worst ideas we've had in a while
David: BUT IT'S IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE
I would rather take quantum mechanics again than take that class. Seriously,...– Kelly D. (biochemistry makes us suicidal)
conditional love - the body parts love is a...
why we're best friends
Jenn: I'm sad today, Daves.
David: I'm coming. I'm bringing you bacon, pineapples, ham, and beer.
Yeah, ride it harder! … You know, I’ve imagined saying that to you...– Mike
“hey so I’m kinda new to this site and I saw your profile and u look hot. I just got stationed here not too long ago and I’m looking for a girl that’d like to just hang out and have fun but also hook up too. I’m not looking for anything serious since idk how long I gonna be here so I’m just lookin for a chill girl that just wants to have fun. If u ...
It’s like my thighs feel really light. I mean, I feel like I’m...
no better way to end the sabbath than with black...
David: So who would you want to summon?
Tucker: Johnny Carson.
David: Someone google seance, NOW.
Tucker: We should just hold hands around some candles and say, "Heeeeeere's Johnny!" He'd pretty much HAVE to come.
David: I don't think you've thought this through.
Tucker: You're right. Anybody else in the world could be trying this exact same thing right now.
David: HOW WOULD HE CHOOSE?
Horse is like organic bicycle.– Dexter - in what I believe was a Russian accent
I spend a lot of time thinking about the social implications of dating nowadays, there are just so many gray areas what with all the social networking sites and everyone being all up in everyone else’s business. I semi-recently (December) ended a long term relationship and sort of just threw myself into the dating scene. My insomnia combined with my attention whoreishness led me to make an...
goes well with coors light
Max: I wonder if you can get STD's from pizza
Jenn: OH, pepperoni! DAMMIT, gonorrhea... tastes like tarter sauce.